April 12, 2005
Tuesday

With the uproar and indecision on Social Security many people are wondering what they will have for their retirement.  Some feel there won't be much there for them when they retire so they look for alternatives.  I think I may have found my "Security Blanket" for my later years.
 
A Sitnews' reader contacted me and told me about this amazing thing she saw.  I checked it out and sure enough, it does exist.  I am sure it is rare and not every place has one.  I contacted the Forest Service and had them check their dendrology text books and they can't find one so I know it is rare!  I'm talking about the furniture tree!  Ketchikan has a furniture tree and I will have a secure retirement from such a rare species!  I drove north of town saw it and it's true, I have pictures! 

I intend to take a cutting from the alder and graft it on to the maples in my back yard.  I think with the assistance of the Wood Technology Lab at Ward Cove, I can have early American furniture growing in a matter of years.  The Lab will be able to give a certificate of authenticity and be able to state that this is genuine Ketchikan Alaska grown early American Maple furniture!  If all goes well, I should be able to employ others to ensure their retirements as well!  It may take awhile to get the right DNA or whatever to get things changed from a padded couch to a maple rocking chair (targeting the older folks!) or coffee table but I am sure with the modern technology it won't take long.
 
We will have to work on the machinery to pluck the furniture from the trees but we can do that while working on the rocking chair DNA so it will all come together at the same time.  The couch was growing about 30 feet up in the tree above the stream so we have to have a good water supply also.  I don't remember if it was this tree or the one next to it that had a car door growing in it.  I was thinking about growing car parts until I saw that it was rusted so that won't work as well as the furniture.
 
If you want to invest in this future money making opportunity give me a call!  We'll all have a secure retirement!
 
In the meantime, we'll make it a tourist attraction- the only one in the world at this time!  I can see it now.............

Jerry Cegelske
Code enforcement - Ketchikan Gateway Borough
E-mail: jerry.cegelske@borough.ketchikan.ak.us
228-6621
 

 
 
Stream providing water for the Furniture Tree

 

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