December 03, 2007
Monday AM

The 4 Wheeler Awareness Month, was very enlightening and a delightful insight into problem solving! Rather than throwing some grass seed on the unsightly tracks left by a human and machine, finding out who done it and don't do it again moral to the story? It has turned into justified-beat-down of narrow minded Ketchikanites who would dare ride a 4-Wheeler for any other reason, other than to carry a bat and bludgeoned baby fur seal pups!

After reading one version about our needs or audacity owning a 4-wheeler compared to his Super-Duper Alaskan history in a real village, I immediately threw gasoline on my Honda, torched it in ( I am not worthy) shame and felt like a naturalist momentarily! Then it dawned on me that the Carbon footprint I just made (due to melting plastics and rubber tires) would anger the progressive movement Gods like Al Gore and Sean Penn. If that wasn't enough, because the bike was made in a foreign country, I was afraid that this may in fact be a hate crime, burning effigy thing!

I quickly extinguished the bike, it still works, but it is very unsightly! My fear is the other Southeasterners wearing tighty whitey T-shirts (with pack of Camels in sleeve) who drive 4-wheelers? May see my 4-wheeler as a lesser (not as cool) machine.

Why is it, the more people try to enlighten me, the more confused I become? We just need another arm of government called the No Fun Police to help us find our identity! Let's keep water baring logging roads in a rain country, so we don't burn down San Diego! Makes perfect new millennium sense to me.

Ken Lewis
Ketchikan, AK

About: "Lurnen how to be a real Alaskan"

Received December 03, 2007 - Published December 03, 2007

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