Halloween In The Time of EbolaBy Danny Tyree October 27, 2014
These suits are just part of a trend (call it tacky, insensitive, creepy, gross) that includes Zombie Robin Williams masks, partygoers dressed as disgraced former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice (dragging around an inflatable wife), groups of friends dressing up as doomed Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 passengers and the guy in Boise, Idaho with the decapitated Pres. Obama in his front yard.
Ebola Quarantine
The reality of today is getting closer and closer to the satire of yesterday. Remember 1977 when Dan Aykroyd on "Saturday Night Live" portrayed huckster Irwin Mainway? Mainway's Halloween wares (Invisible Pedestrian, Johnny Human Torch, Johnny Combat Action Costume with real M-1 rifle and Johnny Space Commander mask, i.e. a plastic bag with a rubber band) don't seem so outlandish in today's climate. A spokesperson for BrandsOnSale.com insisted that spoilsports who get squeamish about the Ebola suits just don't "get" the holiday; Halloween excesses are our way of mocking our fear of death. (Yeah, we really stick it to Death, because our ever-growing Halloween expenses leave us unable to pay for our funeral!) The spokesperson defended the suits as a continuation of the grand old tradition of Halloween being a time to "laugh all the way to the b-- um, er I mean whistle past the graveyard." No, back in the day, we WHISTLED past the graveyard. Now there's always some jerk who metaphorically drives past the graveyard with the stereo blasting, the engine roaring and piles of litter being tossed from the floorboard.
Trick or Ebola
Of course this year's timely costumes compete with the ongoing popularity of seductress outfits, worn by supposedly grown women who think the ultimate goal of a librarian, doctor, judge or police officer is to be "totally hot." Some of the women also insist on living vicariously through their little girls, dressing them in more and more risque outfits. Now the age-old question "What are you supposed to be dressed as, little girl?" is being replaced with "Can you break a twenty? Because I'm fresh out of singles for that G-string.") Wait, there's more. According to USA Today, Americans will spend $350 million on costumes for their pets. Fair enough — until you consider the trend toward "sexy" pet costumes. One example is a dog dress with a BUSTY FAKE CHEST. It's the evolution of American slang; we've gone from "that's one sick puppy" to "that's one sick master" in just a few years. *Sigh*
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