Columns - Commentary
Jason
Love: Paintball
- It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. My
community lived in relative peace -- shopping, sunbathing, recreational
surgery -- while in the hills of Simi Valley underage kids were
being gunned down by paintballs.
I'm a pretty peaceful dude.
If I were king, our troops would shower the Middle East with
LSD until they all discovered oneness. There would be no Us and
Them, just Brothers of the Blue and Green Marble.
"This is the dawning of
the Age of Aquarius..."
You can see, then, why I might
balk at the idea of paintball, and by "balk" I mean
make the sound of a chicken. Still I showed up at Paintball USA,
where players poured in wearing camouflage and motocross helmets.
I looked for, but could not find, Mad Max.
Mike Schwartz, owner of Paintball
USA, Close Encounters, says that it's like playing G.I. Joe but
in real life. I myself was into PlaySkool, and casualties were
rare. Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down.
At the sign-in desk we found
Art, head referee. Art would not divulge his surname but swears
that he is not running from the government. Art, in fact, had
the hyper-organized feel of a Green Beret and probably knows
the truth about Roswell.
Art wasn't the tallest guy
in town, but you got the feeling that should you cross him, he
could skeletonize you by hand. Remember Vavoom from Felix the
Cat? The one who started avalanches with his voice? That's how
Art covered the rules.
"DO NOT SHOOT THE LIZARDS.
THEY WILL DIE." - More...
Thursday PM - May 03, 2007
Tom
Purcell: Exploiting
the American Prom - Proms sure have gotten expensive these
days.
According to the San Jose Mercury
News, high school kids spend nearly $4 billion annually for dresses,
accessories, flowers, beauty products, limos and other prom-related
items. The average couple spends upward of $1,000 for the one-time
event.
That got me thinking about
my own prom in 1980.
I didn't know my date very
well. She was in my photography class, pretty and, more important,
available. We arranged a pre-prom meeting to get to know each
other. We played tennis on a blistering-hot day, then headed
back to her house for something cold to drink. After she berated
her sister for drinking all the Tang, she turned her turret on
me.
"I heard about you, a
regular class clown," she said. "You better not show
up in a limo, wear a top hat or cane or do anything else to embarrass
me."
I knew right away things were
going to work out fine.
Still, I wanted to impress
her. I was running a stone-masonry business in those years and
was making a lot of money for a kid.
I figured I'd use some of my
dough to impress her.
I bought her the finest corsage
in our high school (it cost $45, a lot of money then). I bought
a box of frozen steaks, snacks and other refreshments for the
after-prom party. But my investments turned out to be bad ones.
- More...
Thursday PM - May 03, 2007
Clifford
D. May: What
the deep thinkers are thinking - For their May/June issue,
the editors of Foreign Policy magazine asked 21 "leading
thinkers" to propose ideas to "save the world"
- or, failing that, to come up with "one solution that would
make the world a better place."
Almost all the thinkers assigned
to this task do their thinking at think tanks, universities and
activist organizations. Is there nowhere else that sages can
be found? I mean that as a question, not a criticism.
Foreign Policy's thinkers tackle
a diverse list of dilemmas - from poverty to gender inequality
to climate change to terrorism. I think their solutions range
from the innovative to the far-fetched. See what you think:
Amy Myers Jaffe, a fellow in
energy studies at the Baker Institute in Texas, notes that oil
is no longer owned primarily by private companies. Instead, government-controlled
oil companies "now command close to 80 percent of the world's
remaining reserves." As long as we are dependent on these
oil-baron states - e.g., Saudi Arabia, Iran, Venezuela, Russia
- they will have power over us.
Her solution: "shift the
automobile fleet to plug-in, hybrid electric vehicles."
The technology already exists, she says. We just need to get
the cars on the road sooner, rather than later. I'd add: Abolish
taxes on liquid fuels that can serve as alternatives to gasoline.
John Arquilla, a professor
at the Naval Postgraduate School, argues that "nearly six
years into the first great armed conflict between nations and
networks"- global terrorist organizations - "the nations
are still fighting the last war." - More...
Thursday PM - May 03, 2007
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