Columns - Commentary
Dave
Kiffer: Dreaming
of a Wet Christmas - I've been asked by three different people
what it means to have significant snow before Thanksgiving.
Does it mean a harsh winter?
Does it mean a mild winter? Does it mean six more weeks of muskrats
seeing their shadows?
My initial reaction was to
reply "what do you think I am? A meteorologist?"
But that inspired one of my
friends to retort: "I'm not asking about shooting stars,
you doofus!"
Uh, right.
Since I appear to have the
only known copy of "Poor Skookum Gregorchuck's Sourdough
Almanac" people seem to think that I have cornered the market
on local folk/anecdotal wisdom.
So here goes.
If if snows before Thanksgiving,
it means we're going to have a mild winter.
I can remember maybe five times
that it has snowed heavily before Thanksgiving in the last 30
years or so. At least three of those times, it hardly snowed
at all the rest of the year. One time, it continued to snow up
until Christmas and then stopped for the rest of the year. One
time it kept snowing until March. That was a year in which I
lived in Wyoming. That doesn't count. - More...
Monday AM - November 20, 2006
Tom
Purcell: The
Real Thanksgiving - "A myth! What do you mean America's
Thanksgiving holiday is based on a myth!"
"The Christian Science
Monitor published a detailed report on it. They found that the
holiday has two distinct histories one real, the other
made up. We celebrate the made-up version."
"Made up!"
"Yep. Everything historians
know about the first Thanksgiving is based on the accounts of
two colonists: Governor William Bradford and a fellow named Edward
Winslow."
"Go on."
"In 1621, Winslow wrote
a letter to a friend. He said that after a plentiful harvest,
the 52 remaining colonists decided to feast. The governor sent
out four men to hunt for fowl. Ninety Native Americans, the Wampanoags,
also joined in; they contributed five deer. The colonists and
Wampanoags feasted for three days."
"They ate deer meat on
Thanksgiving?" - More..
Monday AM - November 20, 2006
Bob
Ciminel: Giving
Thanks - As we drove south from Atlanta this past Thursday,
traffic on I-75 was heavy. The right lane was filled with 18-wheelers,
so my wife, who was driving, tended to stay in the far left lane.
We took an exit and she bought a cup of coffee to help shake
off the late afternoon drowsiness; I bought a bottle of soda
because I planned on napping while she drove the 60 miles to
Macon where I would take over.
As I dozed off in the passenger
seat, everything seemed normal. A short distance north of Exit
193, I heard my wife say, "Oh, Bob!" and woke up to
see the car moving toward the guard rail. And then, at 75 mph,
we hit the guard rail and I thought, "This is going to be
expensive!" as the left front fender crumpled and the headlight
and parking light assembly flew off. I didn't realize that it
was going to be a lot worse than expensive.
As the car bounced off the
guard rail, my wife overcorrected and the car lurched into the
middle lane, and then began fishtailing. One second we were heading
for the ditch at the side of the highway, and the next second
we would be heading back toward the guard rail. The car was completely
out of control. And that's when I thought, "We're going
to die!" - More...
Monday AM - November 20, 2006
Steve
Brewer: Perhaps
we should all have our own laugh tracks - Of all the things
I find annoying - and, boy, there's a list that just keeps getting
longer - laugh tracks are near the top.
I've all but given up watching
TV situation comedies because of the canned laughter that erupts
every time a character so much as exhales. Sometimes, the laughs
come from a "live studio audience" of morons, but usually
the laughter and applause are generated by a machine.
One of the worst offenders
is a sitcom that is, naturally, a favorite of my teenage sons.
"That '70s Show" can be pretty funny at times, especially
for those of us who can remember the actual '70s and the stupid
clothes we wore, but the sitcom is ruined by the loud laughter
that spews after virtually every spoken line. I can recognize
the show by its waves of fake laughter, even when I'm at the
other end of the house, and I'm sometimes forced to hide in the
bathroom until it's over.
What rankles is the feeling
that sitcom producers believe that we, the television audience,
are too stupid to "get" the jokes unless we hear other
people laughing, too. Plus, they apparently feel they can get
away with weak material if they "sweeten" the laughs
with machine-made ha-has. - More...
Monday AM - November 20, 2006
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